Chapter eight of Sharon Salzberg's book, Loving Kindness, may be one of the most important chapters in this book because our culture does not alway support rejoicing for other people's happiness, but here she teaches us how to change that. What happens is our culture often leans towards judging others, comparing ourselves to others, deameaning, and envying others. Salzberg explains that the "root of the Pali word mudita means to be pleased, to have a sense of gladness." When we are pleased and genuinely happy for others (not to be mistaken for giddiness and mere excitement) we are liberated. "So much of or unhappy condition as living beings comes fom the constricting effect of our negativity toward each other," Salzberg says.
The questions to ask yourself when you find yourself unable to be happy for others is, "What is holding me back?" "Am I afraid that I will lose something by spreading my joy at another's success?" "Why do I lock myself into this state of mind that doesn't want to see others do well?"
Remember that the title of this chapter is "Liberating the Mind Through Sympathetic Joy." When we are unable or unwilling to be joyous for others, we are stuck and tormented. It creates an endless cycle of negativity. But when we let go of the need to hold on to claiming happiness and good fortune for ourselves and ourselves alone, we are able to spread warmth and joy freely and effortlessly.
I cannot tell you just how much I love what Salzberg writes -- that the gateway to mudita is remembering that "everyone's life is by nature continually vulnerable to pain." That is, everyone, even the person you are jealous of, is suffering in some way. Be aware of the next time that you are jealous, that you feel competitive with another person. Start there and ask yourself if that's really the way you want to feel towards others as you walk along on your spiritual path.
