It’s all too easy to just
accept the words written by Buddhist authors when they write, “Turn your fears
into your allies.” We may understand this concept intellectually, but putting
this into practice is entirely different. One of the keys to understanding this concept is slowing down enough, through meditation, to know what your fears are. More so, knowing what habits you follow which create those fears.
So what does it mean to really turn your fears into your allies? How do you do that? Your understanding of how to do this will really come from how you apply yourself in any given moment when you feel fear arising in you.
Let’s break down the experience as if you were someone who does not know how to make friends with your fears: First, there is something that triggers you to feel fear. Second, you react to your fear, often a habit response. Third, you continue to focus on your fear. Fourth, now you dwell in a state of fear. Fifth, you start to feel your present-moment fears affecting your body. Sixth, a snowball affect happens and fear turns into a big monster that overwhelms you. Last, you feel out of control mentally and not well physically.
Now let’s break down what might happen to you the next time you feel fear arising in you and you’ve been meditating regularly for quite some time: First, there is something that triggers you. Second, you notice that you are being triggered. Third, you recognize an old fear or habit creeping up. Fourth, you observe how these fears are trying to take hold of your mind saying, “This is a very big deal and you should be afraid and angry about this injustice.” Fifth, you step back and observe your reactions to your fears.
If you begin to feel out of control, then you will talk to that out of control part of you like a friend – “I know you’re afraid, but we’ve been down this road before. Everything will be all right, even if you need to cry or be afraid – go ahead.” Sixth, before you distort your fear and make it worse, you carry on with your fear, like a best friend by your side that you need to nurture before you put it to bed. Seven, you are not hard on yourself. No matter how many times you’ve tried to be more self-aware, if you’re not where you really want to be, you still remain gentle.
Every fear-based experience is unique. The idea here is to really examine for yourself how you can befriend your fears, your anxieties, and worries. Remember the second scenario. Having read it, that alone may be the reminder that you need so that the next time you are worried, you will remember to slow down so you can follow the steps of nurturing a more mindful mind/body response. Hopefully, more peaceful results will be motivation enough to do things differently.
