In Chapter Four of Calming Your Anxious Mind by Jeffrey Brantley, we all chuckled to ourselves when I read one of the three elements of what Brantley refers to as "stress hardiness:" Challenge.According to Brantley, challenge means, "having the ability to greet the stressful situation as an opportunity for growth and excitement. This inevitably means also welcoming and accepting change, which is constant, rather than feeling overwhelmed by it."
How do we get to a place where we can greet a stressful situation as an interesting opportunity for growth and excitement? The answer to that question is first by evaluating just how you greet stressful situations today. What do you do? How do you greet stress in your life?
Do you complain for hours on end? Do you call a friend and cry? Do you get defensive? Do you yell at someone close to you and blame them for your inability to cope with the stress you are facing? Do you shut down and have a drink? Do you do drugs? And do any of the above behaviors assist you in overcoming the stressful situation you are in, or deter you and make things worse?
Once you recognize what your pattern is when stress arises - only then can you begin to change. As an exercise for yourself contemplate what it would mean for you to actually greet a stressful situation you are currently facing as an exciting opportunity for growth. Before you try doing this just sit quietly with the stressful situation you are facing and ask yourself, "What would happen to me if I saw this differently?"
Most likely this shift in attitude will help you to see yourself as capable and confident in handling what you are currently going through. Maybe the thoughts in your mind will shift to: "I can handle this. I can face this. I can even deal with this mindfully so that I can stay healthy in body and mind. I will be okay, and if I need to, I can turn to others for support so that I remain mindful throughout this stressful process."
Remember, you may not be able to do this right away, but greeting stressful situations with the knowledge that you can grow from the situation may alleviate some of the stress you are facing.
