Trust in Your Own Authority

During Tuesday night’s meditation class we are currently reading and discussing the book, Calming Your Anxious Mind, by Jeffrey Brantley, MD.

He writes eloquently about the seven essential attitudes one can deepen as they cultivate their mindfulness practice. One of them is trust. Here is what he writes about trust: “A basic part of learning to meditate is learning to trust yourself and your feelings. You learn to trust that you can see clearly what is actually happening to you. As you practice mindfulness, you will deepen your awareness of life and your own moment-to-moment experience. You will develop increasing sensitivity and accuracy in discerning what is here now, and what is happening in your own body and mind, as well as what is happening around you. You will learn that you and you alone are the best person to know what is going on inside your own skin and what is happening outside of it. You do not need an expert to tell you these things. You can learn to pay attention and to be present using powerful capabilities of attention and awareness that you already have. It is important to learn to trust in your own authority to know yourself, rather than to look outside yourself for authority. In this process, you discover what it really means to be your own person and to live life with authenticity.”
Hopefully, if you’ve been practicing meditation regularly you are beginning to experience what Brantley has written about. With this trust you gain clarity. What does it mean to gain clarity? In the context of mindfulness, clarity is the ability to know oneself. When we know ourselves, we begin to see the things that prevent us from being ourselves.
Clarity is very useful when communicating with others. Sometimes we come in contact with people who are not clear, yet parade around as if they are. They may do one thing and say another. They may not explain something clearly to you which results in you feeling worry or doubt. You may have friendships with people that are unclear – where one person hopes a romantic relationship will ensue and the other is pleased to simply have a companionship, without romance. Maybe you experience email communication with someone that isn’t clear which could create conflict if misinterpreted. We all experience moments in our lives where we, and others, are not clear.
The good news is that the clarity you gain from meditation can help you and possibly others. Brantley mentions the word accuracy above. He says, “You will develop increasing sensitivity and accuracy in discerning what is here now, and what is happening in your own body and mind, as well as what is happening around you.” This accuracy is what will help you and possibly others when communicating.
When you begin to understand your own state of mind, then you can begin to recognize the mind states of others. You do this by listening and being present to everything someone is saying to you and catching every word and phrase and not day dreaming while you are listening to them. When listening you may catch another’s doubt. You may catch another’s fear or anxiety or worry. You may also notice that someone is being unclear, yet masking that with clarity. If you see this then your clarity can help to smooth things over between you and another person. There is freedom in trusting your own authority and the clarity you gain from meditation. Of course, it does take time to develop these valuable skills.
Here is a relatively common scenario in life where you can begin to practice exercising your own authority. Let’s say that someone comes up to you and freely expresses their opinions about you. You do have the right to disagree with that person and explain why. This is trusting your own authority. Of course, if you agree with that person, then it is skillful to thank that person for giving you information that could help you to become more aware.
Too many people judge others or are harsh critics and they do this without thinking, they do this without having spent the time thinking things through before reacting without clarity. If this happens to you…trust your own authority, know yourself, and gently stand up for yourself. You will find much freedom when practicing this. Just because others sway every which way the wind blows does not mean that you too must follow. To trust in your own authority means you are a pole, a rock, a clear pond...even in the midst of a storm.