To Believe Or Not To Believe

One of the most challenging aspects of applying what we learn from meditation into a situation where we are experiencing fear, panic, worry, or anxiety is learning first to separate the habitual thinking from our new found clarity which we find from meditation practice.

For example, let's say that someone says something to intentionally hurt your feelings. Initially, you may have many thoughts arise such as: What's wrong with me? What did I do wrong? She's right, I am a rude person. I hate myself. What did I do to deserve this? The list of habitual thinking continues for 10 minutes, an hour, maybe on-and-off for a few days. You stay in this place because it's what's familiar and you don't know how to gain another perspective. You may even create intricate stories in your mind about the person who hurt your feelings - fantasies really because how much of what you create in your mind, without accurate information, is real?
The second thing is to notice and pay more attention to your new found clarity. When does it come and how do you recognize it? The journey is different for everyone, but for some of you you'll notice your new found clarity right away. For some of you this insight may take hours or days to recognize.
There will be new thoughts that you will have such as: I didn't do anything wrong here. This person who hurt my feelings was out of line. They reacted strongly and were somehow triggered. Maybe I should just try my best to have compassion for that person because the way they behaved was reactive and I don't need to do the same. I can move on, not obsessively think about this anymore, and let go.
In addition, you may be able to simply observe the person saying hurtful things to you and instead of react to them simply respond with, "I'm so sorry you feel this way."
For a while, until you gain confidence and understanding in what your habitual thoughts are versus what your newly found clear thoughts are, there may be a struggle within you. The struggle is often how to separate the distracting habitual thoughts from those which are grounded and real.
Keep observing and remind yourself that you no longer need to believe the habitual thoughts (generally negative) that burden you and create an obstacle between you and serenity. Pay more attention to, and learn to trust, the insights you gain from new thoughts arising. Let those be the ones to ground you.